Not quite Damascus, but at least there're sheep
What is it about October that makes me think of change? Last October (2018), I wrote about change in my article, "Changes, Changing, Changed, Repeat." Today I want to reflect on the insights we gain when we take the time to remember key, profound moments in our childhood.
Our childhoods aren't just bags of traumas that we fish around in, pull out an issue, and talk about in therapy. Rather, our childhood can tell us a great deal about our innocence and pure-heartedness, who we are deep inside, what we once valued, and how we wanted to evolve.
Today, I revisit a point in my childhood when I felt awakened to my calling in life, and reflect on the life I've lived since that moment over 40 years ago. I find it life-affirming to look back on my life compassionately, rediscover myself from a positive perspective, and appreciate how I've grown. It helps me to have faith in myself and strengthens my resolve to be the best I can be moving forward. I hope that you might do the same and find greater self-worth as you reminisce about the child you once were.
Returning to Life-affirming Moments in Childhood
Taking a compassionate look back
I remember the moment clearly. I had been sitting in my favorite (and only) armchair in the living room next to the large picture window. Morning sunlight streamed in, ironing my hair, as I sat engrossed in the book, "The Greatest Salesman in the World," by Og Mandino. I loved to read a lot and this was a typical day where my book took me far away from my life in Salt Lake City, Utah.
I was in the Middle East with camels and caravans, living in the time of Christ. A rich man owned ten priceless scrolls that contained the secrets to being the greatest salesman in the world, and I was eagerly reading each scroll, curious about what wisdom they contained.
Each scroll described a principle. Here they are:
Today I begin a new life. Today, I am born anew and my birthplace is a vineyard where there is fruit for all.
I will greet this day with love in my heart.
I will persist until I succeed and I will win.
I am nature's greatest miracle.
I will live this day as if it is my last.
Today, I will be master of my emotions.
I will laugh at the world.
Today, I will multiply my value a hundredfold.
I will act now.
I will pray for guidance.
As I read the book, something miraculous and profound happened. I felt an intense light shine within me, and every nerve in my body vibrated with inspiration. I thought, "This feels amazing!" and, "I want to help others feel this way too!" Something inside of me pivoted like a compass sensing north. The book awakened me at a deep, spiritual level.
After reading the book once through, I then followed the book's direction and read each "scroll" three times per day for 30 days before going to the next scroll/chapter. It took a long time. I tried to make those principles a living part of my life.
I skimmed through the entire book on my Kindle today—the book has been in print since 1968! I wondered what it was about the book that inspired me so much back then. Rereading the book took me back to the child I used to be: idealistic, sensitive, intense, and open.
The roads we take in life (can you see the face on the path?)
However, as a much older psychiatrist trained to analyze people, I appreciate now those positive qualities that I failed to acknowledge in myself when I was young. I am proud of the young person who felt inspired by profound wisdom. I admire my persistence in reading each scroll for 30 days! I have kept my laughter and persisted through difficult times. Though I have failed and felt lost many times since, I understand my heart and why I chose certain paths, and it is good enough for me.
With regard to your life, how can these moments of self-reflection help you in your life? Have you ever taken a compassionate look back at your life journey to see how you've grown and who you once were? Can you appreciate the goodness of the child you once were? Do you recognize that person in yourself today? Do you feel proud of who you were and the course you took in your life? Now that we're older, we can go back to appreciate our younger selves from a more mature, wiser perspective and come away with greater love and appreciation for who we were and still are.