A lotus pod with seeds for the next generation of lotuses, Kenilworth Aquatic Gardens, Washington, DC
When I was developing my skills in energy medicine years ago, my mentor asked me to journal in a specific manner. Basically, she wanted me to have conversations with God, like Neale Donald Walsch. I was to write to God, listen for God's responses, and record what came into my mind. Although it felt silly—who am I to talk with God?—I did my exercises anyway. Doing the assignment led to many wonderful insights.
I wanted to revisit one interesting entry about holes. It was filled with paradoxes and surprising ideas. I thought I would share parts of it so you'll understand what I mean. Though I haven't continued to journal in this manner, these writing exercises helped me to practice being receptive to intuitive insight from a higher source, a skill that helps me be a better healer today.
Though I don't know if my conversations were with God, my "higher self," or just a part of my imagination, I did feel information flowing through me from a source beyond my conscious awareness. This source felt freer, lighter, brighter, clearer, and smarter.
How can holes help us rise?
Insights on the dualities of life
We're dropping into the middle of a conversation (written in a journal entry from May, 2004) where I was conversing with God about hate caused by past painful experiences. Given the politics of hate that fill the news lately, this entry may be particularly appropriate for today's social climate. Pseudonyms are used to maintain anonymity. (M=Me, G=God)
G: Yes, your hate. Your hate comes from a lack of understanding at the moment Cy tried to diminish you. Your hate came from the misconception that he had the power. You did not know that he was powerless against you. You only thought he was bigger than you, angrier than you, or more independent than you, making him more powerful than you.
What you didn't know was that you chose to have suffering as a part of your childhood so that you could gain greater growth through your experiences. In a sense, you came into your circumstances out of a belief that you could turn all negative experiences into positive experiences, which is exercising your god-like creative abilities. You're in the midst of this exercise, and you're doing a great job.
M: You make it sound so simple, but it’s not.
G: Sorry. From this vantage point, it does look like child’s play. I realize that from the ground looking up, the anthill does look like a mountain.
You are God. What is impossible to God? You’ve made it harder on yourself by the process of forgetting. Think of it as a game of Pin the Tail on the Donkey. What fun would it be if you weren’t blindfolded first before you tried to pin the tail? You had to first be spun around to lose your sense of direction too. It’s a symbolic game of life—Pin the Tail on the Donkey.
M: Okay. I’ll give you some credibility. But what about pain? Pain is real. Cy caused me pain.
G: Pain is a warning sign for danger—to avoid the noxious stimulus the next time. If you didn’t experience the pain, you would not have learned to avoid being noxious yourself. Next, though pain is seen as unnecessary and an abnormal, superfluous experience in life, if you didn’t feel the pain, your subsequent joy would be diminished. It is the power of duality. The deeper the hole, the higher you rise. Be grateful for the holes in your life.
M: How can holes help me rise?
G: A lot of ways. Like the mountain of dirt that every hole represents, each hole is also what has been removed. The deeper the hole, the more dirt has been removed. In life, the deeper the hole, the more dirt you’ve moved through, and moving through dirt is like going through negative experiences. Now the pile of dirt is like potential material to build things with.
Dirt can be turned into bricks for houses, for example. Dirt can be used to plant flowers in. So, the more dirt you’ve dug out the more material you have to work with. Sometimes, people find a jewel or a treasure box in the dirt. That's when God and angels move through the dirt and leave a gift. (Eleven years later, in 8/2015, I literally found a diamond ring in a purse I bought from a store, which no one claimed, and I eventually sold it for $3,300.00!)
M: Well…I do have a lot to work with, that’s true. I guess my dirt is still dirt though. It certainly hasn’t turned into a glorious mansion.
G: Well, think again. Would you be talking with me if you haven’t already reached a level of achievement? Your dirt has been scaled by you and has lifted you up to me. Or, you’re too dirty for anyone else to pay attention to…haha.
M: Very funny, God.
G: Life is funny, my child. Pin the tail on the donkey, climbing in dirt, even the galaxies, with their pinwheels in the sky, it’s all a carnival, a game. When the fireworks die down, and the carnival closes down, we go back home tired but satisfied with the rides and the excitement of forgetting ourselves in the wonder.
M: I'm ready to come home now.
G: You were ready to come home for years. When you came to the carnival, you came for more than the experience of riding the rides. You were going in to learn how to run the joint. You wanted to follow your father's footsteps and own your own carnival. It takes more work than just going to a carnival. You're staying not for the rides; you're staying to learn how to run it. (Though I didn't know what this last response meant at the time, over time I have come to experience it as being a healer, creating with Life Energy, and observing rather than participating in the frenzied carnival of life.)
That's the end of that entry. Strange, but the more of life I've experienced, the truer the words have become for me. The past 15 years have given me many more opportunities to transform negative experiences into positive experiences and to create and heal with Life Energy.
Like my energy mentor, I want to challenge you to have your own conversations with Source/ God—see what insights come to you as you listen for and record insights and inspiration from a divine source. And, wherever you are along your journey of life, I hope that you'll be grateful for your holes and gain some comfort in the idea that the deeper the holes, the higher you'll rise.
Lotus blossom, Kenilworth Aquatic Gardens, Washington, DC
This week I received a wonderful note filled with gratitude from a patient. She gave me permission to share it with you:
"Thank you for a beautiful and healing session, Dr. Lee. It was worth every moment of the 3-hour drive to get to you.
I feel that together we took a giant step toward healing that ancestral mother-daughter conflict which plagued me with my mother and J__ with her mother (me). We went a long way toward breaking the bondage that literally chained our hearts together energetically with rusty iron links. It is an ancient bondage. I don't know if you know this, but my mother died of congestive heart failure. Her heart literally broke. Hopefully, our work together will free me and my daughter from this ancient bondage in the future.
The only thing I do know is that I awoke this morning with a heart that is light and full of gratitude. God bless you and your courage in doing the work that you do. You are adding to the goodness in the world. Thank you!" —R.R.