The Butterflies at Brookside Gardens, Wheaton, MD
Recently, I went to see a play called, "Tiger Style," written by Mike Lew. The play is described as an "outrageous satire about stereotypes" where "two Chinese-American siblings search for their authentic selves. Albert Chen is a computer programmer so modest he lets others take credit for his work. His sister Jennifer, a doctor, is so professionally driven she can’t sustain a relationship. The siblings mount a delayed adolescent rebellion against their disappointed Tiger Mother (and equally demanding Tiger Father)."
During the play, Jennifer remonstrates when her boyfriend breaks up with her because they didn't have enough fun together. "Fun?!" She yells in frustration, "what do you mean by fun? When I finally got into med school and worked 80 hours a week, I was so grateful because I finally got some downtime!"
I thought that was pretty funny, but since I was the only Asian in the audience, I could tell the jokes were missing their marks. The audience just didn't get it. Well, today's update is for those who do get it and need a little nudge towards integrating more fun and joy into daily living.
For the Fun of It: Living in Harmony with Joy
I had a lot of fun capturing photos of the butterflies and hummingbird hawkmoth at Brookside Gardens. Lately, I've been focusing on having more fun, not just in my free time but within my work. For example, taking pictures for this newsletter and writing it for you was fun.
Strictly speaking, my delayed attempts to integrate fun into daily living can't be blamed on having "tiger parents." We were too poor to afford tutors, prep classes, or extracurricular anything. However, my parents were high achievers and lived disciplined ascetic lives: expecting anything less of their children would have been an insult to our worth.
More than anything, I think my long years of schooling (a total of 30 years), and its competitive, hierarchical social structure, developed grueling work habits and unhealthy levels of self-denial and neglect. Medical school—the antithesis of fun—encouraged a sort of neurotic narcissistic pride in suffering for the sake of the profession. So, much of my life went by without any social framework to encourage a healthy balance between work and fun.
Things began to gradually shift when I had my own children. They were, and still are, a lot of fun. My kids taught me the importance of having fun, and as a mother, I wanted them to choose professions they enjoyed rather than pursuing professions to be paid.
As my practice evolved into a holistic approach, I began to enjoy it more. In addition, having a private practice gave me both the financial means and freedom I needed to have more fun. Recently, I was telling someone about a stream of fun things that I had done over the week: I saw a play, attended a concert, enjoyed a movie, bought clothes, and ate out (a couple of times), etc. But, I felt guilty, like I did something wrong. Was I manic?
After hearing about my concerns, his response was very healing for me. He first reassured me that having fun was normal. Then, he said that the one thing that needed correcting wasn't all the fun I had, but the guilt I felt for having that fun. We did some EET + Logosynthesis on my belief that having fun was self-indulgent.
After that, I noticed a very healthy shift towards better self-care and away from self-neglect: a balancing-out of priorities. I began to pay more attention to the way I lived my life—eating habits, supplement regimen, and sleep schedule.
Green Hummingbird hawkmoth (Macroglossum Stellatarum), Brookside Gardens, Wheaton, MD
I discovered that embracing fun and joy in life as an ongoing discipline isn't self-indulgent. Rather, it promotes a healthy lifestyle. I was surprised by how my healing experience led to greater compassion for myself that allowed me to experience a happier life.
Here is what I did with EET + Logosynthesis when I was trying to heal from my guilt over having too much fun:
"I now choose to align myself with Life Energy and be empowered to run the Logosynthesis process on the belief that having fun is self-indulgent."
Applying the above technique unblocked my hesitance to having fun and allowed greater joy into my life. I hope that you'll try this energy medicine technique for yourself as well.