How do people end up being who they are? How do we understand someone's underlying motivations and core issues?
In this week's podcast, How to REALLY Read and Understand People, I share 30+ years of training as a psychiatrist on how I am able to understand people, including how biology may play a role in their mindset.
Read on as I share some additional reflections on dissecting psyches in order to make souls whole.
How to Know People's Core Issues
Beyond facades and quick judgments
Just as a surgeon cuts into a wound, removes a tumor, and sews the body back together again, a psychiatrist cuts into the wounded psyche, removes embedded traumas, and reconnects the soul to living again.
However, unlike the surgeon who works with an anesthetized patient—unconscious and undefended—psychiatrists work despite patients' vigilance and defenses.
How? By creating a safe and trusting relationship based on unconditional care and respect. It is only from this perspective that one can truly come to know a person. All other quick tricks to understand someone will be superficial and incomplete.
There are many YouTube videos and articles on how to read people. Curious, I watched one. It had a great title and thousands of positive views. It focused on nonverbal cues that supposedly reveal people's hidden agendas and feelings.
After watching it, I decided to create a podcast on How to REALLY Read and Understand People, because people deserve a real opportunity to be understood—rather than misunderstood and judged after watching a YouTube video.
In a nutshell, during my podcast interview, I discuss how the process of understanding someone begins with understanding their history and their reactions to their circumstances. However, who someone is doesn't exist in their circumstances nor in their reactions to their circumstances. A person exists in the space between the two.
A quiet, soft-spoken girl may, in reality, be a courageous fighter who overcame frequent abuse within an alcoholic family. A flamboyantly dressed woman might be using her love of color to bring some cheer to a depressed and anxious mindset.
Despite numerous tattoos, a person's hobby might just be quilting. A Stanford-trained engineer may have been the victim of prolonged racism that no CEO position can assuage. A genius may have always felt like an outcast because other people perceived their intelligence as alien and threatening.
Add to this understanding how genetics and biology affect thoughts and feelings: the bipolar patient exposed during childhood to frequent, high doses of antibiotics; the depressed young man whose grandmother took ten different prescriptions—and so on.
To be human is like a constantly evolving symphony with complicated rhythms and harmonies. One must listen closely and patiently to appreciate it.
The more I hear from patients, the more I am able to empathize with and care about them. Of course, there are those whose motivations and psychopathology exist beyond the limits of human compassion. I know they exist, though I have not met them yet—if I take the time to deeply understand them.
I hope you'll enjoy my podcast on How to REALLY Read and Understand People. Let me know if there's a specific topic you want for a future podcast.
Have a great week!
The Holistic Psychiatrist Podcast (Ep. 38):
How to REALLY Read and Understand People
Check out the teaser here.
People have asked me, “Can you read minds?” To lessen their anxiety, I'd say, “Only if paid.” But in reality, after being a psychiatrist for 30+ years, reading people can become second nature.
This podcast explores how to translate information from simple verbal exchanges into a deep understanding of people's psyche. Like a Sherlock Holmes on the inner life, I pick up on little clues, ask questions about a person’s past, and integrate information together.
Listen further for more insights on how a psychiatrist listens and analyzes information about a person differently.
Click here for the full episode available on Wednesday.