I will have to wait for five days before the seller informs me whether I've succeeded in buying "the house." Nowadays, listing a great house for sale is like throwing raw meat into shark-infested waters. It can attract quite a response. My ability to successfully compete against many offers is uncertain, so I tell myself to practice patience—like Alice in Wonderland when Alice gives herself very good advice (but sometimes doesn't follow it).
As I am waiting, I wonder to myself: can waiting increase inflammation and oxidative stress? A quick Google search reveals that no one has bothered to research the negative health effects of waiting! However, I can tell you that it feels like a slow death, which can't be good for anyone's health.
Thankfully, over the years, wonderful patients and their families have shown me a great deal about how to be patient. Their examples humble me and show me how to live while waiting.
Healing is never a one-way street. It is a circular, holistic process where everyone benefits from the therapeutic relationship. Read on for my reflections and have a wonderful week!
What My Practice Has Taught Me About Patience
Holistic Healing From Therapeutic Relationships
When Mrs. Zhang feels really ecstatic about her son's progress, she'll text to me a short video of him. Once it was of Jim hiking behind his father through difficult, rocky terrain near Great Falls, Potomac, Maryland. He used to walk in a stiff, robotic manner as if his muscles were too rigid to navigate the flat surface of the carpet. This weekend, she sent me a short video of Jim sweeping the leaves off of their patio. It's great to get a video, and I love that she wanted to share her happiness with me.
I have been working with her and Jim since 2013. We've had approximately 240 sessions using integrative approaches. When we first worked together, Jim's delusions kept him in the bathroom for hours. In addition, for several months, he refused to eat anything except nuts and dried berries. Mrs. Zhang poured small amounts of minerals in his water and laboriously painted each organic nut and berry with essential fatty acids. When we added Ion Gut Health by IonBiome, his appetite normalized. Any changes in his regimen had to be introduced very slowly, or he would destabilize. Jim's diagnosis is autism; at least that describes his current set of symptoms. Before he became mentally ill, however, he had been a college student majoring in cybersecurity.
Some patients heal quickly and leave my practice with successful outcomes in a matter of a few weeks or months. However, there are a number of patients who require patient, long-term care. Their progress is measured in small victories over the course of years. Sweeping the patio is a complicated task requiring coordination, motivation, and judgment. Once upon a time, her son had lost all of these skills, and now she's recording their return.
Mrs. Zhang is sharing her video of hope for her son's continued improvement. We are grateful that he has been free from obsessions, delusions, insomnia, anorexia, and violence over the past several years, but his speech remains limited and we keep hoping for more as we continue his integrative approach. It seems that Jim's recent improvements came shortly after we switched him from Cell Ready Minerals by Eniva to BrainChild Spectrum Support Minerals. The absence of copper in a highly absorbable mineral supplement may be making a significant difference for him.
Mrs. Zhang is an exceptional mother and woman. She is patient, kind, and wise. If I were autistic, I would want to have a mother like Mrs. Zhang. She believes in my energy work and wants me to provide energy healing to her son whether in person or long distance. As a psychiatrist, I am grateful for her continued faith in my work.
I remember when I told my own mother that I wanted to be a psychiatrist. Her response was, "You can't be a good psychiatrist. You are too impatient."
True. But her real message was that she didn't have faith in me and that I was not good enough in her eyes. I was an impatient, 17-year-old, high school senior. I was also too stubborn to take her advice and quit before I started. Perhaps that's why I ended up as an anti-psychiatrist who does the opposite of what psychiatrists do.
As a child with a different kind of mother, Mrs. Zhang has healed me by being herself. It's a high bar for a mother to love patiently and unconditionally like Mrs. Zhang, but it's possible. She showed me that loving a child has nothing to do with whether that child is perfect or worthy, but a reflection of the mother's ability to love.
Jim is now 31 years old. Mrs. Zhang has waited without complaint for over a decade for his recovery. I can wait five days for the seller to tell me whether I have succeeded in buying the house.
Note: Names have been changed to protect confidentiality.