My house sold on Saturday. It only took two weeks from the time I called my realtor to the time the house was sold. More changes will be coming, and I'm hanging on tight as I go through my rollercoaster ride of life.
As I was preparing the house for the photo shoot, I ran across an essay by Rue Hass, a master EFT therapist who works with highly sensitive people, which I found very helpful and comforting. It's perfect for those times in our lives when we go for something new and embrace a lot of change. I couldn't find the original source of her article online, so I'm sharing it with you in this Weekly Update with my comments in bold Italics. I hope you'll enjoy her words of wisdom.
Have a wonderful week!
Wanting Can Be Scary by Rue Hass
An essay for times of change
Wanting to bring something new into our lives is what creates and changes the world (and ourselves!). We all do this constantly. Stating a clear intention ignites the living manifestation engine of the cosmos on our own behalf.
But it is a challenge to be conscious and intentional about what we want. It can also be hard to actually know what we want. And even when I know what I want, I can sometimes feel a resistance to asking for it. It is as if some part of me doesn't know that it is OK to reach big (sometimes the universe will challenge our intentions by bringing people into our lives that question our decisions and choices).
I saw a TED talk in which the speaker, a researcher into the effects of our own body language on ourselves, suggested going into the restroom before the job interview, or the presentation, and spending two minutes standing there with your head thrown back and your arms reaching up and out in a V shape, repeatedly saying enthusiastically, "I AM ___ (your name)!!!"
Try it! How do you feel? The speaker said her research showed that this action alone can dramatically change the way you present yourself, and change the results. The point is not to fake it until you make it, but to fake it until you become it [sic]. Because, deep inside, you are it already (Many times as a young holistic psychiatrist I felt that I had to be more than who I thought I could be in order to help my patients. Doing so helped me to become that kind of person over time).
True manifestation is about letting who you really are to grow and bloom. In Incarnational Spritituality's manifestation process, this is called "Embodying the New You."
Like lots of people, I grew up in the shadow of this question. As a child, I felt invisible. I seldom felt that the people around me saw or acknowledged who I really was. I learned to be who other people wanted me to be. I grew up feeling that what I wanted might be less important than what others wanted. What stops the manifestation process from being this simple? (Many patients test weak with "I deserve" statements when they first begin their healing process with me, even experienced therapists!)
We have unconscious thoughts and behaviors that confuse the universe (which really only desires that we succeed in expressing our goodness!)
When what I want isn't manifesting in my life and I don't know why, here are some specific things I have learned to watch for. Are any of these tripping me up?
It is hard to ask for what I want.
Maybe what I am asking for is not what I really want. . .
I am asking for something someone else wants me to want.
We tend to manifest what we already know because it is familiar. Change is scary!
Or, we are thinking of what we need or want right now. But if we could see forward in our lives, we might realize that what would be useful later on is something quite different.
Or, we ask for way too little.
Do you ever ask yourself, "Who am I to want that?"
Just the act of wanting itself can trigger the unconscious strategies that close the doors to becoming what our embodied Self innately knows that we are. Have you ever read Emily Dickinson's poem Longing is Like the Seed? (It is beautiful!)
When you want to manifest something new in your life, how you think about who you are is everything.
Even the initial act of focusing on a manifestation project can bring up this conflict inside. It might trigger an internal voice that says, "I can't have what I want . . . I don't deserve to get what I want . . . I won't get what I want . . . This is too much for me to want . . . I am greedy for wanting this . . . " For many of us, it seems that it is just not OK to want, at all.
Go ahead, be Self-ish.
We are taught not to be selfish. Many of our cultures and religions treat wanting something for yourself as close to a sin. Desiring something can trigger a feeling of unworthiness. (And yet, often religious and social organizations have no problems teaching that their members should make financial sacrifices for them!)
I can still find myself sometimes falling into old programming from childhood feelings of not being seen, not being acknowledged or encouraged to be who I feel myself to be inside.
Those old stories from our past can create an eddy or vortex of dysfunctional mental and emotional energy, a kind of shape or field where someone can get caught without realizing it. It took me a loooong time in my life to realize that my feeling of being invisible was not that other people didn't see me, it was that I didn't truly see myself.
Incarnational spirituality has invited me into exploring and experiencing my own sacred sovereignty. When I can touch into a conscious awareness of my own sovereignty, it changes how I think and act (acknowledging the divine within ourselves).
Learning the manifestation process has shown me that opening to something new means beginning to take on--now--the more fluid, expansive shape of who I will be when I have already learned how to embody what I want. I have found that it is really energizing and exciting to let myself go there in my imagination.
I like to think of "selfish" being spelled Self-ish (or being soul-centered). The capital S stands for the Soul. Each of us is the best caregiver for our Soul. We are the best source of approval, the best noticer of ourselves, the inner land we most need to connect to and stand on. I need to stand in this place of Soul Care to choose what to allow and grow in my life.
Here is my equation:
Caring about myself = Soul-care = Self-ish.
So it is a good thing to be Self-ish! I make the best choices for my life, all day long when I am consciously caring for my Soul.
Ultimately, manifestation is a deep and powerful form of soul care. Learning the manifestation process has given me a real feeling for how to make a difference in my life, so that my life can make a difference in the world.
by Rue Hass
As I move forward with my plans to live where I want to live, these words will strengthen my resolve to manifest my intentions and bring greater Soul-centered living into my life. I hope these reflections will help you to grow also. Have a wonderful week!