Lately, I fired a couple of people: my bookkeeper and the concrete contractor. I dropped out of a group that I enjoyed because the group leader didn't show up for his meeting and didn't apologize or give a reason for his absence.
I found and hired a wonderful new bookkeeper after great effort and patience. She's reliable, punctual, intelligent, and hard-working. She gives me peace of mind.
I also joined a photography group that I love and will be attending again next week. Even though I was the only one that showed up, the group leader spent three hours teaching me about photography. We had a lot of fun.
I don't know what's going to happen with the concrete around my house, but at least I know what won't be happening: an incompetent, slap-dash job.
Whether it has to do with our relationships, work, or environment, life is full of choices. Through them, we determine the quality of our lives. Let's talk about it.
Making Choices & Facing Decisions
Creating the life you want to live
I have certain standards about people and life. I expect myself and others to meet them. These standards revolve around people's/institution's integrity, honesty, dependability, goodness, and work ethic. However, because I also like being nice, it's uncomfortable when I have to be assertive or confrontational.
What I discovered about standing up for something is that it often leads to loss, change, and adaptation.
If I tell someone that I don't like what they say or do, it doesn't usually lead to them backing down, apologizing, and changing. Instead, they tend to retreat or go away, and I'm left with an empty space in my life. I have to find something better to fill that space.
It's strange that it's taken me so long to come to this point in my life, to realize that yes, there is such a thing as not being good enough for me. All my life, my concern had centered around not being good enough for others. Aren't we all conditioned to be agreeable? To accept whatever is given to us, even if it's not what we want?
Some big issues that weren't "good enough" for me have been my relationships with parents, (now) ex-husband, religious dogmas, and psychiatric paradigms.
When I decided that they weren't good enough (and there was no hope for change), I separated from them. Each time I did, I grew more from the loss than I imagined possible.
Being who we are requires courage. Courage to face the consequences. Courage to be alone (until we find a new group of friends). Courage to face the entire Maryland Board because I disagreed with how they want psychiatrists to practice psychiatry.
It also requires a great deal of self-esteem and trust. We have to believe in ourselves, that we deserve better, and that others deserve better too.
In A Trick of the Light, by Louise Penny (a wonderful detective series about the Chief Inspector Gamache), I underlined the sentence, "Whatever you decide to do, we're behind you." Gamache said this to his daughter, Annie.
How would that be, I pondered, to have such unconditional support for our choices? I imagined being in her shoes and vicariously absorbed a deep sense of affirmation.
Maybe, like me, it's hard for you to remember such unconditional support. Perhaps it happened, and we just forgot it somehow. It doesn't matter. We can support ourselves and others. To help us make tough choices and stand up for what we want because we deserve a better life.
Have a beautiful week!
The Holistic Psychiatrist Podcast (Ep. 32):
The Legal Battlefield of Holistic and Integrative Medicine:
Interview with Jacques Simon, ESQ., Attorney at Law
Check out the teaser by clicking on the photo below.
What are the challenging legal issues physicians and other clinicians encounter when they decide to embrace a holistic and integrative approach? What can physicians do to protect their ability to practice holistically?
Jacques Simon, ESQ., Attorney at Law will discuss his experiences and insights into protecting the clinician's right to practice holistically and will clarify the social challenges of doing so.
For more about Jacques Simon, ESQ. please visit: www.jacquessimon.com
Click here for the full episode available on Wednesday.
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