This week, I encountered someone whose perspective was so optimistic and positive that it was practically delusional, but in a very good way. I'll share this frustrating, funny, and surprising experience with you and hope that you will gain as much from it as I did.
Have a great week!
An Optimist of Delusional Proportions
How perspective changes the way we experience setbacks
Here's my story:
Mark, an HVAC system expert, had finished installing an Airscrubber in my basement HVAC system, and we went upstairs to install a nice new filter into the upstairs HVAC system. In the process, he saw a noticeable oil leak from some pipes associated with the airconditioning coils. The system had been installed by CSA Heating and Air. Because I still have a warranty in place for the new house, he said that CSA Heating and Air will repair it for free.
I called CSA, and they refused to honor their warranty, saying that Mark had installed an Airscrubber in the basement HVAC system, so, therefore, it negates their obligation to honor their warranty completely for the entire house. I've never seen their warranty and felt frustrated by their policy. The company said that the real estate agents should have told me. Too bad. It's too late now. They're off the hook.
Helpless, I texted my real estate agent, David Milton Grant of Turnkey Realty, and explained the situation to him. His response was that although the policy didn't make any sense, he was willing to pay Mark for the repairs if my efforts to work with the home builder don't lead to a resolution. In addition, he texted this:
Let's just hope your calls work. Otherwise, we will just have to have Mark do it. I'm sorry. This is just a small hiccup considering all of the many things that worked out for you. So I'll count this as a win.
What?! Did this guy just tell me that it was a win after I told him that CSA refused to take responsibility for their warranty? And if my calls don't work, it may cost him hundreds of dollars to pay Mark to do it for me?
I told him that his attitude was positive to the point of being almost delusional, but I'll chalk it up as being positive.
He thought my comment was funny, and then wrote this to explain his perspective:
I honestly just have been through enough to know, for me, worrying doesn't help anything. Plus perspective is important. We always have to compromise. In this situation, too much good has happened to allow this to negate it. It's life. It happens. We will handle it.
At this point, I dubbed him, David Sage Grant.
As a psychiatrist, I found David's perspective and attitude astonishingly resilient to stress. At first, I thought it peculiar, unfamiliar, and surprising. What is this strange phenomenon before me?
But then, on second thought, I recognized that I have had a similar perspective on healing mental illness holistically and integratively. The psychiatric field still does not believe that it's possible to heal from mental illness. It is supposed to be a chronic condition that is typically managed by ongoing medications. Yet, my perspective remained firmly positive that true healing can be done.
Rather than worrying about whether or not mental illness can be healed, I focused on how it can be done. Of course, I encountered many setbacks, but I'd get up, dust myself off, and keep trying to handle the challenges. Through optimism of delusional proportions, I created an approach that has helped many patients come off their medications and move on with their lives.
No matter what our profession may be, or what role we hold in life, choosing a positive perspective leads to resilience and wellness. It is a skill we can build once we recognize its value.
To conclude my story . . .
The next day, I walked up to a man sitting in a truck labeled with the home builder's logo. He turned out to be the superintendent of the home builder, Arive Homes. We struck up a friendly conversation, and he reassured me that either CSA or the home builder will honor their warranty, and the pipes will be repaired at no cost to me. His reassurance boosted my hope that all will be well and that David will not have to pay for CSA's incompetence. I shared the good news with David and here's his response:
Unbelievable. Optimism to the point of delusion was on your side. Excellent work, Alice.
Life happens. Setbacks will occur. When they do, remember that the power of a positive perspective faces the impossible with "I can handle this." Perhaps, like David, you can take a setback and convert it into a win by focusing on all the good that has happened without allowing the setback to negate it.